Someone call an ambulance
Why do I even bother? About everything? What's this search all about? What are these feelings all about? What am I all about?
I feel stupid; as stupid as one can feel. I am really good at doing this, at teasing. I know. I've already been told.
I'm just the asshole who makes the movies. I'm the guy who has no proves and still despairs over his silly ideas. I'm the one who sees what isn't there, and never was, and never will be. I'm just me. And I hate it.
Oh, yeah. Call me smart, cute, hot, original, say I've got what I need to be happy. If I do, than why ain't I? Am I trying to hard? Am I letting myself go? What? Who? When? How?
And, in the end, always questions. Always. I hate it.
Someone just call the damned ambulance, I want some help
I feel stupid; as stupid as one can feel. I am really good at doing this, at teasing. I know. I've already been told.
I'm just the asshole who makes the movies. I'm the guy who has no proves and still despairs over his silly ideas. I'm the one who sees what isn't there, and never was, and never will be. I'm just me. And I hate it.
Oh, yeah. Call me smart, cute, hot, original, say I've got what I need to be happy. If I do, than why ain't I? Am I trying to hard? Am I letting myself go? What? Who? When? How?
And, in the end, always questions. Always. I hate it.
Someone just call the damned ambulance, I want some help
posted by Pedro Rodrigues at 5:55 AM
2 Comments:
I'd call an ambulace.
But I think that what you really need is to realize that life IS like that. To everybody.
All that you see in the movies sometimes really happens, same for what you read in books; but real life is so random and disappointing. We find ourselves constantly searching for what will make our
lives special and always "almost-finding" it.
That's the cruelty of living, knowing that it's not in your hands.
You can try and try, change, rearrange, go, stay, clean up, dress up, have an accident, marry, have kids, the partner of your dreams, all great friends around you, be a millionaire, and still feel like you're nothing and you have nothing.
Because you feel that despite it all, you still are mising something.
And that's how we all feel. Whoever told you life wasn't about that didn't do a good job.
Just don't overthink. Go with yourself, and the path will be set in front of your feet. Whether you act or not.
(This didn't make much sense, but it's 3AM and I really wanted to comment. I adore comments. It's like virtual dogpiss - I WAS HERE!! - I was also surprised by the fabulous english! Do all gay people speak it like it is their mother tongue? Uberweird! :o)
Take good care. ;)
Once I wanted to be the ambulance's driver, but... You didn't let me.
Touché*
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